The Battle Within...

I am conflicted, and confused. I feel such hope and despair simultaneously.

I care so deeply, that it makes me want so badly, not to care. To just lose

myself to the material world. Why?...Because the spiritual part of myself

is never able to remain within me long enough to heal and overcome, for

all time. I am at yet another crossroad or great presapess, but then again,

I am not... For I can control nothing for any length of time, as to overcome,

or remain in a state of spiritual peace. It angers and distresses me, that the

world may be embarking on a new and wondrous age of spiritual awakening,

and enlightenment, but I will still be the same, with my ever changing moods,

up and down, enlightened then in darkness. Unable to help myself, unable to

follow my abilities to help others. I am sorry for myself, yes... and I am sorry

for those I may hurt, and for those I may never be able to help. I continue to

pray for deliverance from my conflicted and tortured mind and spirit.

Sincerely,

Ronnie